Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Paths

I had the hag - one of my oldest friends since junior high - over for dinner on Monday. It's been a long time since we've done anything just the two of us. It was nice to just talk - although I made the hilarious mistake of calling her disgusting (long story). The evening made me think back fondly to the many nights in high school spent yakking on the phone for hours, repeating the same conversations about guys - one of whom she's now with! Bitch.

Today, instead of boys and what clothes to wear on the first day of high school - we talk about marriage, mortgages, moving and mummyhood. Some of my closest friends are - or already have - in the process of transitioning into the next phase of their lives. Whether it's moving an hour drive from Toronto or to San Francisco, everyone's venturing down their own path.

I can't help but feel sad. I consider only a small handful of people to be "close friends"; people I fully trust. I find that as I get older, I become more selective about who I let completely into my life. I'm not being anti-social or a snob. Far from it! Call it experience, but I just know better now, having seen interesting energies that emenate from people; vibes I rather not absorb into my life.

But the dinner on Monday also reinforced that no matter how "busy" you become, you can always "click" and "connect" again with a good friend. So in that sense, I don't feel as sad. I know that although in the years to come, the time spent together may become less frequent - but I also know that time that is spent together will be meaningful and enriched through the different life experiences that we are about to embark on - and already embarking on.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

L-M-N-O-P...

Love. Marriage. Newborn. Old farts. Pet cemetary. I suddenly see my life flashing before me. And you know what? I'm so psyched by the possibilities.

I can officially confirm some news: Andrew and I are engaged! Close friends have known this since we became engaged in May 2007 - but we haven't publicized it, because, well, we were in no rush and we also had to tell our parents.

I told my mom the first dinner we had together after she got back from the Philippines. Her typical ADD semi-deaf reaction was hilarious. Andrew broke the news last night - in person - as part of his week-long trip home to New Brunswick.

Marriage to me has always been nothing more but an expensive piece of paper. But because it means a lot to Andrew, I decided to take the plunge. To me, getting married - or not - doesn't change anything about us or how much I love him. It doesn't minimize or heighten the fact that he's my best friend, who has seen me through the highest of highs and lowest of lows; the only person who's seen my truly dark and unattractive side, and still, does not run away.

I'm not going to air my relationship here - because, well, Andrew won't appreciate that, being not as heart-on-sleeve as I am. *laughs*

People often ask the question - how do you know when you've found the right person? There is no right answer. But here's mine: When you can be together in silence - whether at the dinner table, on the couch, walking down the street together - and not feel a damn bit insecure or uncomfortable.

I will also say this. My favourite parts of the day begin and end with Andrew. Waking up and walking half-dead into the bathroom, bitchy as hell, and having him prance in with a big smile and chirpily mocking my grumpiness... Leaving together for work, with me bitching at him to hurry up, because he's going to make me late... Lying together in bed at night dreaming about the future, feeling hopeful and optimistic, and then him - um - clouding the vision with a loud stinky fart and me passing out soon after.