We can't argue with the cliche. Your wedding day is one of the happiest day of your life. So how blessed Andrew and I are to experience this bliss three times.
Instead of a traditional big wedding, we opted to do three smaller, intimate gatherings: a ceremony/reception with Andrew/my mom's family and a few close friends, a bbq with friends, and a remembrance dinner during my dad's birthday this September.
Vision: Simple, cozy, meaningful
We wanted our wedding journey to be simple and non-traditional. No bachelor party, no traditional church wedding, no photography and DJ services, no wedding slideshow, no first dance...
We wanted each celebration to be small and meaningful - because we find large weddings impersonal. We are very glad we did it this way, because we got to spend time with all our guests. Although we weren't able to invite everyone we wanted to, we were touched by everyone's - for the most part - kindness and greetings.
Advice we can now share: It's your day(s). Follow your heart and do what feels real for you.
The ceremony
We did our ceremony at the Toronto Weddding Chapel - which fits 35 people. It has a wonderful simple elegance.
The officiant was fantastic and put us at ease. We asked to review her notes beforehand and cut it significantly - because we didn't want to put everyone through a long, boring ceremony. With that said, we were laughing so hard up there. When she gave us the green light to kiss, I lunged after Andrew and he thanked me for doing so afterwards, because he said he was about to pass out.
Wedding party: Andrew's parents, my mom, and our sisters. My cousin Tracy was the flower girl and my Grade 9 teacher's son was the ring bearer.
Our witnesses: Our sisters Jennifer and Sarah.
Song during walk down the aisle: Break the Ice by Britney Spears
Song during certificate signing From this Moment On by Shania Twain
Song during exit from chapel: Celebration by Madonna
Advice we can now share: There are no rules when it comes to your ceremony. Have some fun with it - and have a shot of tequila beforehand.
Reception 1 - Black Tie
Our two August receptions took place at our condo party room. We liked the venue's coziness and saw its potential early on - with its French doors, natural sunlight, and outside water fountain.
We wanted all three receptions to be intimate. The first reception was formal, black tie. Andrew did a fantastic job with the decor - from the silver candleaubras from Fos Decor Centre, to the rose oasis balls, and beautiful damask runners from Around the Table.
We hired The Amazing Food Service to cater our sit-down dinner. They've done a great job for my work events and my friend's wedding. As a whole, their service and food were excellent - although the crab claw - their first try ever - was a bit of a fail (too small!).
Andrew and I also researched and created and served our own signature drink - a raspberry/blueberry cosmopolitan - along with the champagne, white and red wines.
Favourite part of the evening? Sitting down and spending time with each of our guests, and saying a few words of thanks to our family and friends for the love and laughs over the years.
Advice we can now share: With a little imagination and research - you can make an atypical place into your dream reception venue.
Reception 2 - Cottage Backyard BBQ
We held a separate reception for 35 friends - including those we couldn't invite to our formal reception. We wanted it to feel like a casual summer dinner party you'd have at a good friend's cottage backyard.
So we threw a bbq. We hired Ginger Island to cater the bbq and they did a great job, especially the yummy chocolate sushi. Sa kindly contributed a lechon. Instead of a cake, we got wedding cupcakes from The Cupcake Shoppe. Half were Andrew and half were Ab. cupcakes.
Andrew did another awesome job with decor. It was simplier than the formal reception, but something just as beautiful and well-thought-out. We showered the ceiling with Martha Stewart tissue pom poms (above). They were a labour of love project between Andrew, our friend Megan and I for four weeks - and with the help of Sa and our friends Edward and the hag, we stayed up till 2am the night before to get these babies up.
At the request of our friends Glen, Jenny and Irene, we did the most ghetto-ass dance floor in the party room. We didn't have a lot of space - but we managed to fit in a disco light unit I found from Sunshine Sound . It really added a lot to the ambience of the place. And with DJ iPod - and a little alcohol - on our side, it ended up being a lot of fun for those who embraced its cheesy funness.
Favourite part? Again, I don't mean to sound sentimental, but it was being able to spend time with our guests and to enjoy their company. We also wished four of our friends who are getting married in the next year - as well as two friends who celebrated their 20th anniversary - well by giving each of them a good luck rose.
Advice we can now share: Black tie isn't everything. If the mood calls for something different - like, say, a bbq - why not?
Reception 3 - Remembrance dinner for Papa
On September 5, during his birthday weekend, we will do a dinner to remember Pa. After considering numerous venues, we decided on Paradise - the fine-dining Chinese restaurant that was also the venue we celebrated his birthday with last year and the last restaurant he ate at before his death on September 18.
It will be a simple dinner, with some of his favourite dishes.
Papa's visit
The night before our ceremony, I had a dream about Papa. We were in our old kitchen and he was tutoring a student. I walked in and was so happy to see him. Then I realized that he had died and I crouched to my knees and started crying. He came to me and said, "Don't be sad. I'll always be here for you."
The weather forecast had predicted thunder showers on our wedding day. The day began with dark clouds and it poured like hell all morning. Then two hours before our ceremony, it stopped and the sun came out shining. It stayed out until all our guests were seated in the reception and then it began to pour again, adding such a beautiful ambience to our dim candle-lit party room. Then it stopped raining as guests were about to leave.
I truly believe that was Papa's gift to Andrew and I - and his way of telling and showing us that he was there with us on our wedding day.
What next?
While being married hasn't changed anything between us, it does feel more official. And having gone through this wonderful - and fucking stressful at times - process, the one thing it has shown us is that we are a strong unit together. And that together, the future is filled with so many possibilities.
