Heavenly Midnight Massage and Facial

Many people tell me I have a problem relaxing - like I often have the weight of the world on my shoulders. That was one of my goals on this trip: to relax. A midnight massage and facial at the Kai Spa located in our resort - Boracay Regency - did just that.

Andrew did a three-hour massage, facial and foot treatment package the night before and raved above it. I opted for the same package, except the foot treatment. Andrew went back to the spa with me - for a hand treatment.

Having never done something like this before, I can now say that I know what it truly feels to be pampered. First off, the spa was gorgeous. If I could renovate my home, I would do it in this style. Modern, chic and a true feeling of stepping into an oasis.

I started with a quick shower in the nicest stall I've ever been in then followed with a few minutes in the sauna. We then got ushered into the waiting room, where we got served a delicious warm cup of ginger and lemongrass tea.

Inside the private treatment room and from the moment the masseuse dipped my feet into the warm bowl filled with pebbles and rose petals, I knew this was going to be a royal indulgence for my senses.

The massage was first. Antithetical to my normal behaviour, I surrended to the massuese immediately. The different creams and exfoliants she used were heavenly. For a nice slow hour - with "Music for Colonics" playing in the background, I became tenderized with her skilled hands. It also began to rain shortly before my massage and the heavy water and wind beating against the window enhanced the rainforest ambiance the spa was trying to achieve.

There was one embarrassing point when the masseuse was kneading my legs. Well, even though she was a lady, let's just say that it felt really good. So I had to think of bad thoughts, more specifically: a) People I never ever want to see naked and b) Vadge. Lots and lots of vadge. Like warehouses stock full of them. Problem averted.

The facial came the second hour. She applied many different creams - warm, cold, smooth, sandy - on my face. I loved it when she gently brushed every millimetre of my face after applying a strawberry-scented exfoliant. I also had my blackheads vacuumed. At the rate of length and strength the machine was sucking, you'd think I was getting a face lift.

I left Kai Spa at 2 a.m. feeling absolutely renewed, refreshed, rejuvenated - and most importantly, relaxed. Feeling like Joan Rivers after she gets a new face, I wanted to go out and party on the beach bars. But Andrew was too tired. So I lied down on my bed still buzzing with glee. I felt absolutely tenderized - like a calf ready to be slaughtered and cooked into kobe.

Andrew and I in the waiting room - enjoying warm cups of ginger and lemongrass tea.