Re-Discovering Mandarin: The Engrish Barrier

We've met three types of English-speaking people in Beijing so far:

Those who can't speak it

Those who can speak a little bit

Those who enunciate better than I do

We quickly learned that just because you throw a fake Chinese accent on an English word - like hotel, menu, Coke, or... Forbidden City - it doesn't make it Mandarin. Me asking for help from foreigners proved futile as well, because 99% of them would not stop, because they thought I was hawking souvenirs.

And while most above-street and subway signage are in Chinese and English and the hotel has at least one English-speaking staff member on duty at all time - getting around the city with just English alone was challenging - although quite amusing.

Thankfully again, I know a little of Mandarin - but at most times, trying to speak broken Mandarin with a fluent person is hilariously frustrating. When I try to order pop at a restaurant - which, I say in Mandarin (literally translated as "gas water") - the waiter looks at me like I'm insane. So I make a gesture with my hand and mouth - that, looking back, could've been misconstrued as a blowjob. The waiter looks at me again: "Chicken?"

Our ride on the public transit to our hotel back from Summer Palace was also tense. We could've been taking the bus to Russia for all we knew - but we took faith in my foggy understanding of the directions from the locals. Thankfully, I understood correctly.

What these experiences have really reinforced is my desire to learn Mandarin again. Back at the Philippines, we were schooled in both English (morning classes) and Mandarin (afternoon classes) - and not to mention, we had a Tagalog course. I was fluent in Mandarin and could speak, read and write in the language. My parents even got me reciting classic Chinese poetry from memory as a kid.

All that faded away when I immigrated to Canada in 1989. My dad would privately tutor me, but I lost interest around Grade 6 and we stopped our one-to-one lessons. During the last few years, my dad had a strong desire for me to re-learn the language and even offered to start the one-to-one classes again. I regret not taking him up on the offer. But it's never too late to go back, right?

With all this said and done, a little language barrier should not deter you from coming out to Beijing. But my advice is to simply plan and map out your day really well with your English-speaking staff member at your hotel before you depart each day. Go on guided tours, if it makes it easier. If you go it on your own, don't be shy about approaching the locals, until you find the one person that does speak English. And most importantly, just have a good humour about it all. It makes for fun stories after the fact.